The Lords of Salem

Have you ever wondered what Roman Polanski's Rosemary's Baby would be like on acid? That's pretty much what you get with Rob Zombie's new fright fest The Lords of Salem. The story revolves around a radio DJ named Heidi Hawthorne. She lives a relatively normal life, and she seems happy, but one day on her radio show she plays a mysterious record that she received in the mail from a band simply called The Lords. After the record is played, Heidi starts feeling strange and having bizarre hallucinations. Meanwhile, a mysterious new neighbor has moved into Heidi's apartment building with seemingly deadly intent. All of these strange occurrences relate back to a secret coven of witches that were hunted down and burned at the stake during the Salem witch trials.

The main thing that sets this film apart from Zombie's other films is the slow, tension building pace. Sure, there are a few isolated scares scattered throughout the film, but the real eye burning imagery is saved for the last 10-15 minutes. This is the main reason I loved this film. It's slow burning and we actually get to know Heidi, making her descent into madness that much more gut wrenching. You have to be patient and willing to make the journey with her. It's definitely Zombie's most mature film in terms of storytelling and craft.

The look of this film can be summed up with one word: gorgeous. It's a dark and dreary experience peppered with bright, candy colored Satanic images. Heidi's twisted visions are impossible to look away from, even as they get more grotesque and obscene. There were certain sequences at the end that were burned into my mind and had me thinking about them long after the credits rolled. Everything works, from the set design to the strange lighting and photography of the hallucinations.  Zombie really went for something that didn't resemble any of his past work, and he succeeded. This is his most visually striking film since House of 1000 Corpses.

The acting in this film is also top notch. Sheri Moon Zombie does an amazing job as the heroine of the story. Ken Froree and Jeff Daniel Phillips are also great as Heidi's co-hosts at the radio station. But the stand out performances are that of the three old witches threatening Heidi's life played by Dee Wallace, Patricia Quinn, and Judy Geeson. These are only a few of the great performances. It's a great cast filled with horror icons and new faces alike.

The Lords of Salem is a fantastic horror film. It's Zombie's take on the satanic sub-genre. He pulls influences from Polanski, and even Aregento while throwing in his own special touch. It's a trippy, one of a kind film that will please hardcore Zombie fans, and possibly even impress the naysayers. Satan, come to us, we are ready!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

I hate musicals. I absolutely despise them... Well, most of them. Honestly, the only musical films I can stand are horror musicals. Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd are prime examples. I think I enjoy them so much because they take horror elements and amplify them to fit the over-the-top style of musicals. In horror, a lot of the time, bigger and louder is better and horror musicals are the biggest and the loudest of the genre. By far, the best horror musical I've seen (and I think most people would agree) is 1975's cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This film has gained a gigantic following over time, and I can definitely see why. The story revolves around Brad and Janet, two star crossed lovers who have car troubles and break down in the middle of nowhere. They seek refuge at a mysterious castle, hoping to use the telephone and get their car fixed. To their surprise, this castle is the home of Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry) and his bizarre affiliates. Brad and Janet's night soon turns nightmarish, as they have become prisoners of the Frank-N-Furter, and he's about to reveal his latest creation: Rocky. It may drag in a couple places, but this is a very original story.

The best thing about this film is Tim Curry. He reprises his role from the stage play, and this is his first feature film. You can tell he's just having a blast. His character has such an amazing screen presence. He's outrageous, hilarious, creepy, and absolutely unpredictable. The supporting cast also do a great job. Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick are appropriately confused and scared as the doomed couple. I also really enjoyed Patricia Quinn, Little Nell, and Richard O'Brien as Frank-N-Furter's go to henchmen. The cast is really amazing, and there's not one stiff performance in the whole film.

Now let's talk songs. The songs in this film are incredibly catchy and upbeat. Time Warp, Sweet Transvestite, and Eddie are guaranteed to be stuck in your head long after the film's over. But my personal favorite song is Science Fiction/Double Feature. It's the perfect song to kick off the film and watching those infamous floating lips sing it during the opening credits is nothing short of mesmerizing. Overall, the songs are well placed in the film and not one of them slowed down the pacing, or felt unnecessary.

The acting and songs in this film are great but what really sold me was the set design and directing style. This film is absolutely gorgeous to look at. Everything is bright and colorful, and every scene is eye popping. It's truly a technicolor nightmare. Also, horror elements are very predominant. Every scene has skeletons or cobwebs thrown about. It's also cool to know that the castle set they filmed in was also used for many Hammer horror films. The direction is also very unique. Jim Sharman always keeps the camera moving, and he uses some crazy editing techniques. One film I can think to compare it to is 1977's House from Japan, in terms of pure style. The film is visually arresting and never boring to look at.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a classic, and it deserves it's huge cult status. It's a fun, bizarre, one of a kind film that demands a view from any film fan. The songs are great, the acting is great, and the film's look is fantastic. It's like nothing I've ever watched, and I say definitely check it out.

Maniac

The slasher boom of the 1980's started with Friday the 13th in 1980. It was the first mainstream film to utilize the formula established in Halloween and add gory visual effects. Friday the 13th was the template for all slashers released in the 80's, and it's now cemented as a genre classic. However, there was another slasher film released in 1980 that flew under everyone's radar; William Lustig's Maniac. This down and dirty slasher was pushed under the rug due to it's insanely graphic violence, it's dark tone, and it's odd story structure. It has a huge cult following now, and personally I think it's one of the best slashers ever made.

The story follows Frank Zito (played brilliantly by Joe Spinell), as he rampages through New York, killing innocent people and occasionally taking their scalp as a souvenir. We learn that Frank has mother issues, and everything he does is driven by her spirit. He kills women and takes their scalps because his mother doesn't approve of them. Meanwhile, Frank meets Anna, and they really hit it off. Could it be that Frank can change for Anna and finally be free of his mother? This is a great story for a slasher film. It gives gorehounds something to drool over, as well as an odd love story to mix things up. It's like nothing I've watched.

The thing that really sells this film is the acting. Joe Spinell is brilliant because we never really, truly know what's going on on his head. At the drop of a hat, he can be the most sinister murderer you've ever seen or a sympathetic victim of a broken mind. His character is well fleshed out and three dimensional, making him a very unique slasher killer. Caroline Munro (Anna) also does an amazing job. She's nice, and you genuinely want things between her and Frank to work out. The victims are all quite convincing, and they all sell the anguish of being brutally slaughtered. Overall, it's a surprisingly well acted slasher.

Another thing that this film did right was the setting. The streets of New York have never looked more dirty and unforgiving (accept maybe in Taxi Driver), and that makes every kill that much more brutal.  The film was shot on 16mm, which obviously helps make everything look more grimy. Every scene is dark, unrelenting, and claustrophobic. It also helps that a lot of Frank's victims are prostitutes, making everything that much more sleazy. the setting really reflects Frank as a character. It shows a side of New York that is utterly terrifying, and you feel like danger lurks around every corner. 

But what would a slasher be without the kills? the gore in this film is truly top notch. Tom Savini did an amazing job making outstandingly bloody, yet realistic murder scenes. The kill this film is most known for is the infamous "shotgun scene", and I'd be lying if I didn't say it's my favorite kill in the film. It's perfectly paced, and the execution is impeccable. Other than that, the film has various stabbings, a brutal strangulation, and throat slashing. There are also many bizarre hallucination scenes, showing how troubled Frank's mind really is. It's a gore fest from beginning to end that definitely still holds up today.

Even though there's a huge fan base for this film now, I still feel that Maniac is underrated. It's a down and dirty film with some of the best kills ever filmed. It's the sleaziest slasher film ever made, and it's a mandatory view for any horror fan.  

[The Vomit Gore Trilogy] - Slow Torture Puke Chamber

I've talked about extreme horror in the past, and I must reiterate it's a genre that's not for everyone. Extreme horror takes you places that you don't want to go, but have always been curious about. It's like staring at a car crash on the side of the road; you can't look away. There are many different sub genres and films in extreme horror but I'm going to talk about the films of Lucifer Valentine. He single handedly created his own extreme horror sub genres as well as some of the most disgusting films I've ever seen. I'm talking, of course, about the Vomit Gore Trilogy. This hallucinatory trilogy of films is not for the weak of heart. They are some of the most gory, bizarre, nasty, and original horror films I've ever viewed. Grab your puke bucket and let's dive right into the final installment of the Vomit Gore Trilogy, Slow Torture Puke Chamber. Spoilers Follow.

After the brilliant second installment of the series, my hopes were very high for this film. While it is a fitting end to this vomit and blood soaked trilogy, it was definitely a bit of a disappointment.  After the promising first film and the amazing second film, this one sadly felt like somewhat of an afterthought. It's not terrible by any means, but it definitely wasn't what I was hoping for. 

The film revolves around Angela as she's now the Devil's main girl. She does many preverted things throughout the course of the film to please Satan. Meanwhile, an alternate universe has been created, bringing a new Angela into the mix (played by Hope Likens). She too does various sexual acts for the Devil. Finally, we have Hank Skinny still torturing people in Hell, and projectile vomiting like always. I have to admit, this is my favorite film plotwise in the trilogy because it gives both Angelas time to say more dialogue. This is by far the most character driven film in the series.

The acting in this film is top notch. Amarea Lavey again does an amazing job again as Angela, a slave to the Devil. Hope Likens also does a great job as the alternate Angela. They both deliver Lucifer Valentines lines with real feeling. Hank Skinny is there again as the excessive vomiting, sun glasses clad villain torturing people in Hell. He's appropriately over the top, and something of a wonder to behold. The victims in this film are believable, and really sell being humiliated/mutilated/puked on.

The gore, unfortunately, is a weak point in this film. The only gory set piece is that of Hank Skinny performing a home style C-Section on a woman, and defiling her unborn child. The actual cutting open of the woman looks great; there are innards being thrown about, and copious amounts of blood flow. Once the baby makes an appearance, everything goes downhill. The unborn child looks incredibly fake, and really takes you out of the movie. Hank torturing the infant goes from disturbing to unintentionally funny. It's really a shame considering that the first and second film had top notch special effects. That is the only gore in this film to report.


The rest of the film has a lot of vomiting (obviously) as well as some other disgusting sequences including, a line of shot glasses full of puke, and eating crickets off a cake. Some of these scenes go into fetish territory, and I honestly didn't like it. While I understand they were there to show Angela's journey in Hell, they just didn't fit. These scenes outweigh the gore, and in a "vomit gore" film, that's a bit unacceptable.

The final installment of this trilogy was kind of a let down, sure, but it's still worth watching. As I said, the dialogue is great and the camera work/editing is better than ever. Seeing Angela's journey into Hell was a very surreal experience, and the ending was very well done. I personally just couldn't get past the fetish elements and the lack luster gore effects.

Overall, the Vomit Gore Trilogy is a must watch for any extreme horror fan. The first two films have some of the greatest gore I've ever seen, and the third film is very well put together. It's a one of a kind series and if you can stomach it, I say definitely give them a watch.

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[The Vomit Gore Trilogy] - ReGOREgitated Sacrifice

I've talked about extreme horror in the past, and I must reiterate it's a genre that's not for everyone. Extreme horror takes you places that you don't want to go, but have always been curious about. It's like staring at a car crash on the side of the road; you can't look away. There are many different sub genres and films in extreme horror but I'm going to talk about the films of Lucifer Valentine. He single handedly created his own extreme horror sub genres as well as some of the most disgusting films I've ever seen. I'm talking, of course, about the Vomit Gore Trilogy. This hallucinatory trilogy of films is not for the weak of heart. They are some of the most gory, bizarre, nasty, and original horror films I've ever viewed. Grab your puke bucket and let's dive right into the next installment of the Vomit Gore Trilogy, ReGOREgitated Sacrifice. Spoilers Follow.

The bad pun in the title aside, this is the be all end all Vomit Gore film. If you want to see the best this twisted genre has to offer, look no further. This film is a masterpiece in its own right. The second installment of the trilogy improves upon everything in the first film and creates a lean, mean, puke and gore filled thrill ride.

The story follows Angela who, after committing suicide, is now in hell. There she meets the Black Angels of Hell (played to perfection by the Soska Sisters). What comes next are more extremely gory hallucination scenes, as well as Angela trying to find her way to Lucifer himself. As with the first film, that's what I got in terms of a plot. I could be totally wrong, but that's how I interpreted it. This is another flashy, random images/scenes kind of movie, but this time with much more vomit and gore.

Amarea Lavey does a great job again as Angela. She's moving through hell, and she's scared and confused. We see this confusion as she crosses paths with The Black Angels of Hell, and finally Satan himself. The Soska sisters do an amazing job as the demonic twins. Every time they're on screen, you are on edge waiting to see what they will do next. They really are the main characters of this film. They basically drag women down to hell to be tortured. Also making another appearance is Hank Skinny. He helps the twins torture the victims and, as always, projectile vomits everywhere.

This film is very professionally made, and you can really tell Lucifer Valentine matured as a filmmaker. The shots are better composed, and everything is well lit, whether you want it to be or not. This is definitely the easiest film to follow in the series. Valentine perfected the quick cut style, and the pacing is impeccable. This is also the shortest film in the series, making it a quick viewing. It's fast and to the point.

The gore in this film (believe it or not) is even better than the first. Valentine's vision of hell is an all white room, which is a dream for gore hounds. Every blood red murder pops against the stark background. This time around we have the twins being separated at the head via a surgical saw, various vicious beatings, one of the most realistic disembowelments I've ever seen (seriously, it looks that real), and a decapitation/eye gouging/scalping. The gore is quite simply amazing, and it'll shake even the most jaded horror fans to their core.*


The puke element of the series is featured more in this film than the first. There are many standalone vomit scenes as well as vomit being included in the gore scenes. My personal favorite was when Hank Skinny uses the freshly disemboweled guts of a victim to make himself puke. Hank also takes a decapitated head, cuts the top off of it, pukes into it, and drinks from it. Truly nasty stuff. Like I said about the first film, the vomit just elevates this film to some disgusting high. If you made it through the first film, you'll be able to handle this.

ReGOREgitated Sacrifice is an amazing extreme horror film. It's quick (at a breakneck 66 minutes), brutal, and unlike anything I've ever seen. Everything good in the first film is made better in the sequel; the acting, shot composition, gore, and vomit. If you watch only one Vomit Gore film in your lifetime, make it this one.

*The ending of this film features one of the most despicable shots I've ever seen. I won't say what it is, but it'll scar you for life, guaranteed.

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