My Ranking of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Films

The revving chainsaw. The flashbulb noise. The voice over. Trademarks from one of the most infamous, controversial, and uneven horror film series of all time. I'm talking about the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre. These films range from being widely acclaimed to universally despised, but I think we can all agree that these films are an important part of horror history. This is my ranking of the series.

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974):
Tobe Hooper's terrifying original film still holds up extremely well today. It may not be as gory as the title suggests, but what it lacks in blood, it more than makes up for in true scares. It was shot in 16mm so it's gritty, and it takes on an almost documentary feel. It's truly terrifying (something the later entries seriously lack), and atmospheric. There are a few gore shots, but it's the look of terror in the victims' faces, and the psychotic cannibal family that makes this movie scary. It's a horror classic that will never fade away.

2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986):
This film couldn't be more different compared to the original, and that's why it's so good. It swaps out scares and atmosphere with over the top gore and dark comedy. It works so well because its not trying to be a retread of the original, it just does its own thing. The Tom Savini gore is outstanding, and the performances, especially Bill Moseley, are great. This entry (not including the prequel) is for the gore hounds.

3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003):
This is a fantastically made remake. It follows the original story loosely, which was a very smart move. While it does up the gore, it isn't too extreme, keeping with the chills and atmosphere of the original. The cinematography is amazing, and there are some genuinely creepy moments. The acting is great, and this film has one of the best Leatherfaces of the series. A rare remake that actually works.

4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006):
I was very pleasantly surprised with this film. Like part 2, this movie relies mostly on the gore, which is fine by me. This is, without a doubt, the goriest entry in the whole series. There are many chainsaw kills which are satisfying, and this one even has a "dinner scene" paying homage to the original. It was fun to see how Leatherface was born, and how the twisted cannibal family came to be. This one is definitely for gore lovers, but not much more.

5. Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 (1990):
To me this movie is just okay. Yes, there are some gory moments as well as creepy ones, but this film left much to be desired. The real treat in this film is Ken Foree's character; He's a total bad ass (when is he not?). Other than that though, the acting is pretty good, and there are some solid kills, but it's missing the true terror of some of the other entries.

6. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994):
Truly terrible. From the very first frame, this film makes no sense at all. There are way to many things being thrown at you, and it never feels like a Massacre flick. The acting is horrific, the story is doomed from the start, and there isn't one single chainsaw kill. I counted one scene that I thought looked cool, and it was ripped off from the original! Leatherface dresses fully in drag, and it inspires more laughter than screams. The ending is insanely confusing and stupid, and it made me angry. It's good for a laugh with your buddies, but do NOT expect good horror.

Well, there you have it. All of these films (excluding Generations) are definitely worth watching for one reason of another. That's what I love most about this series; every film is different and it rarely ever follows the same formula or tone. Other horror franchises could learn a thing or two from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! I really can't wait for the next entry, because the buzzzz will always be back!

Funny Games

Talking about Michael Haneke's 'Funny Games' can get a bit tricky. He made an austrian language version of the film in 1997. I have not seen this version, and the reason is very clear; ten years later, Haneke remade the film for US audiences himself. Yes, a writer/director made a shot for shot remake of his own film. Having said that, reviewing one is pretty much exactly like reviewing the other. I've only seen the US version, but I'm obviously not missing anything. Here are my thoughts on the 2007 version of 'Funny Games.'

The film starts off pretty in a standard way; a family goes to their vacation home for relaxation, but are soon forced to play sadistic "games" by two psychotic yuppies. What may sound like a by-the-books home invasion film is really a darkly comic, extremely disturbing film with an actual message about violence.

The story is quite different from other home invasion movies. The yuppies make their way into the family's home and slowly become more and more aggressive. Their petty acts finally escalate and they end up breaking the husband's leg. The family realizes that the yuppies aren't just pulling a prank, and things get serious. The two psychos have a sit down with the family and make a bet; they bet that the family will be dead in 12 hours, and they force the family to bet the opposite. Let the games begin.

The acting in this movie is outstanding. Naomi Watts and Tim Roth are great as the unfortunate couple put through the wringer. Even Devon Gearhart, who plays their son, does a great job with the little screen time and dialogue he's given. Despite being pretty big stars, I really felt Watts' and Roth's pain, and I found their performances to be all too real. The main attraction for me, though, is Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet as the insane captors. They are well spoken, well dressed young men, and their games are sadistic. The way they interact both with each other and the doomed family creates an uneasy feeling throughout the whole film. It's like nothing I've ever watched before.

The "games" they play are cruel and perfectly staged. Whether it's a game of hot and cold gone bad, or a simple guessing game, they're all twisted and set up with deranged glee by the yuppies. You can tell these guys are just doing it for fun, and that's what makes this film so disturbing. Even when they break the fourth wall (something reserved usually for comedies) it's just as sick as what's happening within the plot. This should be tongue in cheek, but it's the polar opposite.

Not only do the captors play games with the family, but Haneke plays games with the audience as well. Breaking the fourth wall puts us right there in the house, watching these terrible events unfold. We are truly at the mercy of the director, and he doesn't play nice. Another thing Haneke does is hide the violence. Nothing violent actually happens on screen (well nothing real, anyways), and that really makes things interesting. In a movie like this, you're waiting for some kind of payoff, whether it's the demise of the victims or the villains. Haneke never gives us this payoff, making you think of how you watch films. It's a great way to be stylish and disturbing, while getting your message across at the same time.

This film is clever, darkly (and I mean DARKLY) comic, and disturbing with style to spare. Michael Haneke's 'Funny Games' should not be missed. Now, shall we begin?

My Ranking of the Wrong Turn Films

The murderous hillbilly/in-bread family sub genre of horror is very played out. We all know of the most popular ones, like The Hills Have Eyes or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, but I feel like the Wrong Turn movies are often overlooked. To me, these films are a lot of fun, and they have some of the most menacing antagonists that this sub genre has to offer. Sure they have a fraction of the budget that those other franchises have, and all but the first went straight to DVD, but maybe that's what makes them so much fun to watch. I personally enjoyed them all (to a degree). Read on for my ranking of this series.

1. Wrong Turn 2: Left for Dead (2007):
A truly awesome movie. Without a doubt the most entertaining the series. This one has great characters (no, really), amazing set pieces, and it more than delivers on the gore. The opening scene alone, where a girl is sliced clean in half vertically, causing her guts to spill all over the street, is worth the price alone. I wasn't a big fan of the reality show spoof plot, but luckily the good ol' mutants break that up in no time. The kills are surprising and gory as hell, and the characters make smart decisions (for the most part). My only wish was that they went somewhere with the disgusting ending in the next sequels.

2. Wrong Turn (2003):
This is probably the best made out of all of these films, and it was the only one to have a theatrical run. The story is pretty straight forward and the characters are tolerable. The three mutants are the most scary in this one; they stick to the shadows, they're brutal, and their laughing isn't annoying yet. The kills are very cool, especially the half decapitation and the barb wire in the mouth. Overall, it's a suspenseful film with great villains and awesome kills.


3. Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011):
I was pleasantly surprised with this one. After the third film being such a disappointment (more on that later), I had low expectations for this installment. I love the setting, both the abandoned asylum and the snow; It's a fresh change that the series needed. On top of that, there are some actual creepy scenes, one in particular involving a two-way mirror. The kills are outstanding. We have gargantuan drills going through bodies, a live human feast, and a great decapitation, among others. The characters were pretty stupid and the acting was subpar, but the gore and suspense made up for the weaknesses.

4. Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012):
This movie has awesome kills, and an awesome title screen... And that's pretty much it. It's definitely not as bad as other people/reviews are saying, but it's still a very weak entry in the series. Honestly, when I watch a slasher I expect two things: boobs and blood. In that respect, this movie definitely delivers. Sure, a good story and acting would've been nice, but that not a deal breaker for me. Overall, watch this one for the kills, and only the kills.

5. Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009):
The opening scene for this movie was amazing. It had awesome gore, some humor, and it gave me hope for a good movie. Unfortunately, that's where the good aspects end. The characters are all just mean, and there's no comic relief. It's just a mean spirited film that I had a hard time getting into. The cheap CGI is distracting, but it's direct to DVD so I let it slide. It's dull most of the time, and there's not enough of the three mutants. It's watchable, but it's my least favorite in the series.

Three Finger, One Eye, and Saw Tooth are great antagonists to a pretty solid series of films. When you take into account that these are just dumb, low budget slashers, you'll have fun watching them. I say take a wrong turn and check these flicks out.

The Human Centipede 2

I love extreme horror. It takes you places you wouldn't dare go in real life. The directors are fearless, and the images are grotesque. I love this genre, which is the exact reason I loathed The Human Centipede the first time I watched it. It was billed as "the sickest film ever made" and it was most definitely not. While I do respect it more now, it just was such a let down at the time. I'm fine with bloodless horror movies, but if it's advertised as a sick disgusting film, I kind of expect just that. At any rate, when the sequel came out, I was rightfully hesitant to see it. I read that it was more gross and explicit than the first one, but that didn't mean much to me. But being the horror fiend that I am, I rented it on demand, and I was completely blown away.

Everything good about the first film was magnified, and everything bad about it was addressed and promptly fixed. This time around, the film actually lives up to the hype, and succeeds in giving us a truly nasty flick.

The story revolves around Martin, a mute, disgustingly overweight guy who becomes obsessed with the first film (yes, they took a meta approach with this one). He loves The Human Centipede so much that he wants to make a creature of his own. He proceeds to capture people from the parking garage where he works, and takes them to a warehouse. He then grabs all of his household appliances (hammer, stapler, duct tape, etc) and attempts to make his own centipede. He succeeds. Oh, and it's a whopping twelve people long this time!

The film was shot in color but changed to black & white in post production because director Tom Six thought it looked scarier. I personally loved this choice as it leaves a lot to the imagination and makes the film look very raw and gritty. Also, like a lot of black & white movies these days, there is a splash of color near the end of the film (hint: it's brown).

The gore is amazing. It's very gruesome, especially when compared to the first film. This time around, we're treated with head bashing, teeth being extracted with a hammer, the caving in of faces, and messy, dirty, home-style surgery. I was very pleasantly surprised at his how deliciously gory this one was. The centipede, when finally assembled, was very cool and worth the long wait. There are also some sequences that launch it into extreme horror territory; one is a grotesque scene involving sandpaper, and another involves a baby. But, as I said, all of these things just prove that the ads were accurate this time around.

After watching this, I was so satisfied and it actually made me respect the first film more. What I hope Tom Six was thinking was, "look what I did with the first film, now look what I can do with the second." He made a somewhat disturbing film, and then he blind-sided everyone with its sequel. It's an awesome, grimy little horror flick, that will live in infamy as one of the sickest films ever made (for real this time).

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Remember The Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Of course you do, it's an immortal cult classic and one of the main innovators of modern horror. Everyone knows and loves the original 1974 film but to me, the 1986 sequel doesn't get enough love. Sure, it up's the gore and skimps on the true scares but taken as its own film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is a masterpiece.

The plot revolves around Stretch, a local radio DJ, who reluctantly becomes tangled up in the Sawyer family madness when one of their crimes gets recorded on her show. Meanwhile Lefty, a lone wolf sheriff, is on the hunt to put a stop to these horrific crimes once and for all.

There are so many great things about this movie, starting with the brilliant opening scene. The movie opens on a couple of annoying yuppies on their way to "the biggest party of the world." They call in to Stretch's radio show and harass her for a bit. They call back again later for more fun, but then they run into a mysterious truck on a bridge. The truck starts to follow the yuppies, and Leatherface appears. While the two cars are driving side by side, Leatherface starts to attack the yuppies with his trusty chainsaw. Just when the guys think they've outrun the maniacs, the guy in the passenger seat looks over to see the top of his friend's head has been sawed off. The car speeds off the side of the road, thus starting this wild ride of a movie.

That opening scene, with it's amazing Tom Savini gore and Oingo Boingo's 'No One Lives Forever' playing in the background, sets up this film perfectly. Gone is the serious tone and chills of the original. This time around, we're treated with dark comedy and over the top violence. This film is an amazing sequel because it doesn't try to be like the original, it just does its own thing.

The acting is really quite good, and all of the characters are memorable. Most notably, Dennis Hopper is appropriately whacky as the sheriff out for vengeance. He looks like he had a great time, which is always nice when a big actor does horror. Caroline Williams is also very good as the scream queen of the flick. But my personal favorite character is Chop Top played by Bill Moseley. He's gross, weird, hilarious, and scary.

Speaking of gross, the gore in this flick is amazing. Without cutting away from anything, we see heads being chainsawed in half, skin warn away around a metal plate on Chop Top's head, heads being bashed with a hammer, and someone's entire body being skinned. The effects are from Tom Savini, so you know you're in for a treat. There's even a chainsaw going through someone's body and we see it still revving! That's impressive.


The set pieces are also a major character if this film. The radio station is memorable, especially when Leatherface and Chop Top come in and pretty much destroy it entirely. But the best set in this movie, hands down, is the underground lair of the Sawyer clan. A deserted theme park is such a good place for all of the carnage and insanity to take place. I see now where Rob Zombie got the idea for his underground finale in House of 1000 Corpses. Every set is colorful, eerie, and goes with the mood of the film perfectly.

Even though it's nothing like what made the original so good, this sequel still deserves a lot of love. It's crazy, fast paced, bloody as all hell, and a really fun watch. Now, go see what all the buzzzz is about!

The Splat Pack

With horror looking dead (no pun intended) coming out of the 90's, there was seemingly no light at the end of the tunnel for our beloved genre. That is, until a group of film makers from all around the globe said enough is enough. They didn't need to have a meeting, they knew nothing of one another, but they did know that the horror genre needed a kick in the teeth. I'm talking, of course, about "The Splat Pack." Eli Roth, Rob Zombie, Neil Marshall, James Wan, Greg McLean, Adam Green, and Alexandre Aja all, in the early 2000's, decided horror needed to be edgy again. They all released unbelievably gory movies into the mainstream leaving horror fans both relieved and screaming for more. These filmmakers gave horror fans hope, and changed the face of horror for the better part of a decade. Let's look at these directors' filmographies shall we?

Eli Roth:
Eli Roth spent his parents' retirement money in order to produce his 2002 debut film Cabin Fever. It was a fun, creepy, and above all gory debut that put him on the map and got him recognized by a lot of people including Quentin Tarantino and Peter Jackson. After the success of his first movie, his sophomore film Hostel was highly anticipated. It was released in 2005 with solid reviews from critics and fans alike. He also made a sequel in 2007, Hostel Part II, which was another hit in the horror community. He hasn't directed a movie since, but he's produced many, and even acted in a few. There are rumors that his next directorial project will be a cannibal movie in the vein of Cannibal Holocaust.

Rob Zombie:
With his music showing much love to the horror genre, Zombie making a horror flick of his own seemed only right. In 2003 he released his hallucinatory debut House of 1000 Corpses. It was bizarre, trippy, and gory as hell. It has since become a cult hit. His second flick, The Devil's Rejects, a loose sequel to House, was met with very positive reviews and is still considered to be his best movie. After proving that he had some serious talent behind the camera, he went on to tackle the remake of Halloween in 2007. It was met with mixed reviews, but was box office hit. In 2009, he made the sequel, Halloween 2 with the same results. His most recent film, The Lords of Salem is currently making the rounds at festivals, and has been picked up by Anchor Bay for distribution.

Neil Marshall:
Nicknamed the king of B-movies, Neil Marshall exploded into the horror scene in 2002 with his debut Dog Soldiers, an old school style werewolf flick. This got him some serious attention, as his next movie, 2005's The Descent, gained a full theatrical run. He has since somewhat drifted away from horror as he moved on to direct Doomsday, a Mad Max-esque apocalyptic thriller in 2008, and Centurion, a sword and sandal adventure flick in 2010. Rumor has it he's returning to horror with Burst, a movie about people spontaneously combusting.

James Wan:
Back in 2004, a little film called Saw was released. It essentially created the "torture porn" sub genre and changed the way we saw horror films. James Wan finished this film in 18 days on a shoestring budget, making it one of the most successful independent horror movies ever made. He has since directed Dead Silence and Death Sentence (both released in 2007), and Insidious released in 2011. His next work is highly anticipated.

Greg McLean:
Australian born director showed off extreme talent when his debut Wolf Creek was released in 2005. It was his personal answer to Saw and Hostel and it was met with huge success. His second feature film Rogue, about a killer crocodile, was released in 2007 with very positive reviews. He hasn't directed a film since, but a sequel to Wolf Creek is reportedly in the works.

Adam Green:
Better late then never, Adam Green released Hatchet, a throwback to old school American slashers, in 2006. It was met with praise from critics and fans alike. He later directed some smaller films like Spiral in 2007, before making Frozen in 2010. Frozen proved he not only knew how to orchestrate mindless violence and gore, but also suspense and true scares. Hatchet 2 was released in 2010 as well but it came with so-so reviews. He also directed a segment in the sleazy anthology Chillerama, which was released in 2011. He is currently acting as writer and producer of a third Hatchet film.

Alexandre Aja:
French filmmaker Alexandre Aja burst into the horror scene with his gloriously gory debut High Tension in 2003. This gained him some recognition, and he came to the states for his next feature, The Hills Have Eyes, which was released in 2006. This gave him a name in the US as a horror master. He stumbled a bit with 2008's Mirrors, as it was a critical and financial bust. But, he was back to form with 2010's Piranha. He has been writing and producing since, and plans to direct another film soon.

As horror fans, we owe these guys our lives. They saved our genre from the dreadful 90's and reminded us how amazing good ol' bloody horror films can be. If you haven't seen any of these films, I say definitely check them out. They're all an extremely important part of the horror genre. Long live The Splat Pack!

The Scream Series

Ah, the 90s. The absolute worst decade for our beloved genre. All horror films were watered down, and the big franchises of the 80s were dying off. It was a very sad decade for horror, but one franchise shined through all of the crap. I am talking of course, about the Scream movies. While these movies were the exact reason that 90s horror sucked (90210-type cast, very little gore, etc.), they are good based solely on who was involved; the immortal Wes Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson. This dynamic duo put together the best horror films of the 90s and even one of the best horror franchises ever.

Scream (1996)
With the almighty slasher film all but extinct, the horror genre was looking very grim going into the 1990s. The MPAA was on a censorship rampage, chopping our favorite films to bits, and killing off icons. But, in the middle of the decade, Wes Craven decided to direct a little film called Scream. Scream was funny, scary, and just the shot in the arm horror needed. The self referential comedy mixed with the tried and true slasher formula was a match made in horror heaven. The acting was great, the characters were memorable (even if they were a "90210 cast"), and the gore was surprisingly brutal. It was the first horror film to actually mock and deconstruct slasher films while itself was one. It's a true horror classic, and it's up there with the best of the genre.

Scream 2 (1997)
Like the sequels jokingly mentioned in this flick, this movie surpasses the original. It's bigger, better, and improves on both what was good and bad in the original scream. Like Randy says while he's explaining sequel rules, "1. The body count is always bigger. And 2. The death scenes are always much more elaborate, with more blood and gore." This movie follows these simple rules and throw in the memorable characters and funny inside jokes the first film introduced. The kills were satisfying and so was the payoff at the end. A very worthy sequel to a great original.

Scream 3 (2000)
This is the movie in the franchise that seems to divide audiences. It's pretty low on gore and there's way too much exposition. But to me, that's the point. I think (and hope) that they were trying to make fun of how the final installments of trilogies often explain too much, and really throw in unnecessary twists. Other than that, the violence was alright, and the comedy was less present. Overall it's great of you're a fan of the franchise, but it's definitely the weakest and most forgettable in the series.

Scream 4 (2011)
I absolutely loved this movie. All of the original cast and crew returning over a decade after the third installment was enough for me to get excited for this movie. Written to make fun of how every horror movie is being remade, it slyly becomes a remake of the first film. I really enjoyed the new cast as well as the returning group. The gore was amped up for modern audiences, and it was amazing. Guts strewn across a bed, stabs to the forehead, and endless other kinds of stabbings occur. The comedy is right up there with the first Scream. It's a great movie, and supposedly the start of a new trilogy. Keep 'em coming!

The Scream franchise has cemented itself in horror history as the savior of the 90s. Without these flicks, horror fans would've lost their minds (until the splat pack, anyway). We owe a lot to this series, and I'm excited for what's to come! Now, what's your favorite scary movie?

The August Underground Trilogy

Extreme horror is an acquired taste. Even some horror buffs don't watch these types of movies. Some horror fans don't like ghost movies, some don't like slashers, and some don't like extreme horror. It doesn't make them less of a horror fan, it's simply just personal preference. But those who dive deep into the underground, unrated, and downright indescribable horror scene have most likely heard of the August Underground films. Written, directed, and distributed collectively by Toe Tag Pictures, these psudo-snuff films are some of the best known underground horror films out there. They have influenced many films like them, and ushered in a whole new era of vile cinema. Let's take a journey into the basement: this is August Underground.

August Underground (2001):
The first in the trilogy, and also the debut feature from Fred Vogel, packs quite a punch. Marketed brilliantly by telling the viewer to imagine walking down the street, and finding a VHS tape. You pick it up and pop it in your VCR out of curiosity, and you witness somebody's sick and twisted "home videos" consisting of torture, mutilation, and cold blooded murder. The story centers around a nameless killer (rumored to be named Peter, but it's never said in the films) played by Fred Vogel, and his friend who is never seen, as they live (and document) their somewhat normal lives. But, what we soon discover is that in their basement is a filthy torture chamber. The main reason this film works is because it looks so real. Everything from the camera work and acting, to the gore effects and psychological abuse contribute to this movie's realism. It's a very rough looking film, as well. It has the look of an extremely low end VHS tape but again, it makes the movie look that much more real. If I was shown this movie without any knowledge of what it was or where it came from, I would call the police. For a sick gore hound, this film delivers in spades. There's hammer bashing, mutilated limbs, sliced off nipples, and more. For a first film, the effects are 100% convincing and expertly done. See this film only if you're curious as to what a snuff film looks like. It's the closest you'll get without having to see the real thing.

August Underground's Mordum (2003):
The second film in the series is, without hesitation, the most disgusting, vile, horrific, shocking film I personally have ever watched. Some of the things in this movie make me question not only the filmmaker's sanity, but my own. I gagged on numerous occasions, my jaw dropped in disbelief throughout, and I felt the need for a shower after watching it. There are things in this film that I refuse to even repeat in writing. Again, the realism sells this film. It's much too real for comfort, which makes it perfect for what it's trying to be. This time around we follow Fred Vogel's character again, but this time he's accompanied by his girlfriend (of sorts) Crusty, and her brother Maggot. The three make up a team of filthy, disgusting murderers who continue to rampage through town, taking us along for the ride. This movie has so many scenes that are so extremely gross and disturbing, they truly have to be seen to be believed. Everything in the first film was magnified and topped in this film, including the acting, realism, and especially the effects. In this sequel, there's a gruesome disembowelment, self mutilation, headless infants, slit throats, and, again, bashed in heads. The movie takes on the grimy, messy look of the first film, making it that much more dirty and realistic looking. Nothing I can say can express how dangerous this movie is. If you're curious, and you have the stomach, seek this one out at your own risk. Watch it if only to brag that you've seen one of the most extreme flicks out there.

August Underground's Penance (2007):
Arguably the most conventional of the three, the final entry in the series still hits very hard. Now with only Fred Vogel and Crusty in the picture, they continue their killing spree, still recording every gruesome moment. This time, though, the film is shot in much better quality. Gone is the static, fuzzy look of the first two films, now we get to see everything (fortunately or not) in perfectly clear detail. While there aren't as many "holy shit" kind of moments in this one, there is more character development. I know it sounds funny for a series like this, but it's true. The previous films had some undertones of a plot, and this one doesn't bring them fully into light but the feeling is much more prevalent. You can tell these people are growing tired of what they're doing. The previous films had the killers cackling at the victims and mocking them but in Penance, it seems like it's more of a chore than anything. That's what made this entry memorable for me. The first two films had balls to the wall gore and visuals, whereas this is more of a character study of sorts put into the same universe. Don't get me wrong, though, this film is still quite nasty when it comes to the good 'ol red stuff. There's the dismemberment/disposal of a body (which was awesome), nails driven into a body, a home style c-section, and a severe hobo beating. This film also has a Christmas time home invasion scene that makes Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer look like something off of the Disney channel. It's a fitting end to this sinister trilogy.

These films touch on the darkest parts of our subconscious. Fred Vogel and Co. know we want to see what we shouldn't, like staring at a car crash on the side of the road. We are all curious about these kind of things, and these filmmakers know it. They are dirty, taboo destroying pieces of art that demand a viewing for anyone willing to witness them. If you are indeed an extreme horror fan, bust out your barf bag and enjoy.

Antichrist

"Chaos Reigns."

So said the fox in Lars von Trier's horror odyssey Antichrist. This sinister piece of art was given a special anti-award at the Cannes Film Festival for it's diabolical images and themes. It's one of the most controversial (yet praised) films in recent years and no matter what you think of it, it's a movie that stays with you long after it is over. I've sworn to myself that the only art house films I enjoy are those which have horror themes, and this movie is no exception. Disgusting, disturbing, unnerving, and all around depressing; all themes that conventional horror movies strive to express, yet fail to do more often than not. Antichrist accomplishes all of them, with style to spare. This is Trier's self described attempt to make a fright film, and it succeeds on every level.

The story surrounds a couple, simply credited as He (Willem Dafoe) and She (Charlotte Gainsbourg), who recently lost their son in a tragic accident. To help themselves cope with his death, they go to their cabin in the woods for some peace and quiet, and to also get away from the chaotic city. As they settle in, they realize something dark lurks deep within the woods. This evil becomes more and more tangible and hostile, and their trip soon becomes a twisted vision of hell. As the tagline for the movie states "Nature is Satan's Church."

The best thing about this film is the outstanding performances of the two leads. Dafoe and Gainsbourg really sell a newly broken family to extremely real effect. Their chemistry is very believable and you really feel their pain. It's very heart wrenching watching He (who is a psychologist) try to help She cope, as she spirals into a deep depression. The way they deal with their evil surroundings is also very grounded. These characters just feel so human in their inhuman situation. 

The look of the film is quite simply perfect. It's dark, cold, and mirrors the themes and tone of the movie impeccably. Trier uses quick shots, dizzying editing, slow motion, classic filter effects, and even a few disorienting CGI shots to convey his vision. The three beggars (a deer, a fox, and a crow) all have a terrifying screen presence, and Trier photographs them in such a way that they seem very supernatural (which is obviously magnified when one of them actually speaks). When the chaos really starts, all of the violence and grotesque imagery is very surreal, and surprisingly never feels unnecessary or excessive. Yes, the images are very shocking, but they aren't so just for the sake of being shocking. It's a truly beautiful film filled to the brim with truly horrendous shots.

The whole movie is essentially about an evil presence being in control of the woods and everything and everyone in them. Trier communicates this through gorgeous, if despicable imagery and two terrific performances. It's a movie that demands to be seen, not just by horror fans with an open mind, but by any film lover with an open mind. It's far more stylish and smart than your average gore flick. It's a dangerous, thought provoking piece of art that will be talked about for years to come. So now I ask you, what do you think is supposed to happen in the woods?

"The Big Four" in French New Wave Horror

When people think of France, they think pretty scenery, cigarettes, romance, and cheese. But, when horror fans think of France, we think gore, suspense, torture, plot twists, and MORE GORE. That's right, from the early 2000s to today, French horror has gone totally haywire, bringing us some of the most insane and original horror flicks ever made. They aren't afraid to go places that American horror movies wouldn't dare touch, and are rightfully praised for doing so. There have been a slew of horror movies to slither out of France, but people tend to talk about four in particular; Martyrs, High Tension, Inside, and Frontier(s). These are the most extreme and memorable French horror movies to come out of the last decade, and they have undoubtedly breathed new life (or death) onto our beloved genre. I will review each of these flicks in all their blood soaked glory. Major spoilers follow, but if you haven't seen these flicks, stop what you're doing and go watch them immediately!

Martyrs (2008):
Watching this movie is a truly moving experience. The first time I viewed it, my jaw was on the floor in disbelief. I couldn't even comprehend what I had just witnessed. While decidedly the least gory of the bunch, it is the most disturbing and it leaves the greatest impact. The film follows Lucie who, as a child, escaped a sick child abuse chamber. She grew up in a foster home with Anna, a girl who acted as a mother figure for her. Lucie is disturbed, and haunted by a "monster" as a result from her horrible ordeal. 15 years after she escaped Lucie hunts down the family responsible in an attempt to rid herself of her past, and start her life over again, dragging a reluctant Anna along with her. What begins as a simple tale of revenge spirals into a dark descent of terror that the two girls were not prepared for. The plot twist in this movie is haunting and very well executed. I wasn't expecting at all what unfolded before me as I was watching, curious to see where it would end up. This is a beautiful movie, with great acting, and amazing atmosphere. It takes turns and twists that you would never expect, and reading anything more about it would ruin the whole experience. The setup is great, the payoff is outstanding, and the message really stays with you long after the credits are done rolling.

High Tension (2003):
This movie blew my mind. As part of the unofficial "Splat Pack," Alexandre Aja burst into the horror scene with his brutal, mind bending slasher debut. For a first film, Aja already showed some serious talent for directing suspense and action. The film centers around Marie and Alex, two college friends, who go to Alex's parent's farmhouse for some peace and quiet, and also to catch up on some studying. Before long, in the middle of the night a nameless assailant comes knocking, setting a desperate struggle for survival into motion. This movie was so expertly crafted that I literally have nothing bad to say about it. It's scary, disturbing, suspenseful, and above all, gory as hell. While not as deep or meaningful as Martyrs, it's the perfect movie for any gore hound. Here we have axe murders, slashed throats, and one of the most unique decapitations I've ever seen. The film is also very dark and gritty, adding to the overall sense of dread. The acting is amazing, and it was just an added bonus to have the always great Phillippe Nahon (who I know from I Stand Alone) as the killer. The story is tight with only three big set pieces, which made everything that much more claustrophobic and intense. The direction is impeccable, the music is superb, and Aja even throws in a few nods to the 1980s slasher classic Maniac (the gas station bathroom, jumping on the hood of the car). I won't spoil it, but I did really enjoy the twist near the end. I thought it was well executed and gave the movie a tremendous edge over other recent horror movies. An exceptional first film from someone who would later direct other great genre flicks like The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha. It may not have you thinking about a message or theme, but it sure as hell will leave you with your fist held high, and your gore craving satisfied.  It's a fantastic horror movie, and one of the first to kick off the new wave of gory fright flicks.

Inside (2007):
One of the main reasons I love French horror is because they take a horror sub genre, in this case home invasion, and they twist it into something totally different and refreshing. This movie revolves around Sarah, a recently widowed woman who is about to give birth to her first baby. The night before she's due to go into labor, an insane woman (credited simply as "The Woman") breaks into her house for one thing and one thing only; her unborn child. This movie is absolutely terrifying. Home invasion is the one sub genre that freaks me out, only because it could happen, and it happens in a place where you're supposed to feel the most safe. The scene when you see The Woman in the background while Sarah unknowingly sits on the couch, sends shivered down my spine every time I watch it. Plus, this movie is one of the goriest movies I have ever seen. Anyone who is unlucky enough to enter the doomed household is dispatched in increasingly gruesome ways. The special effects are astounding, making each death seem that much more real and brutal. The film is slow, yet creepy at first, but when the blood starts to flow, it never stops until the crimson river finale. The simple plot allows for minimal excess and little exposition, which is good, so we can focus on all of the carnage. Speaking of carnage, this movie is very ballsy in putting in the C-Section scene and I applaud the filmmakers for it. They opted out the "happy ending" and when it was over, it left me with a very uneasy feeling, as a true horror film should. A scary, suspenseful, blood drenched horror flick that demands a viewing from anyone with a taste for gore.

Frontier(s) (2007):
Another amazing, genre defining horror film from France. Director Xavier Gens chews up the "torture porn" genre and spits it right back at us. He has crafted a highly original, thrilling, and brutally violent film that you would never see released here in America. The story is about a group of thieves who escape Paris with $125,000 and head for the boarder. Along the way, they stop to stay at a hostel who's innkeepers are far more dangerous than the riot plagued city they came from. This film is very dark, and violent with no light or humorous moments. It's an in your face thriller that pulls no punches. The gore is fantastic, and includes one of the best axe murders I think I've ever seen. The story is great and takes enough plot twists to keep your interest and it never veers off into familiarity. The acting is stupendous, and the pacing is tight with not one dull moment. Gens uses a bit of a quick cut technique in the more chaotic scenes and it works to great effect. The characters are rich and both the antagonists and the protagonists are memorable in their own way. This film has it all; neo nazis, cannibalistic underground sub-humans, dysfunctional families, and loads of the good ol' red stuff. If you're a fan of Saw or Hostel and you want to see a movie go even further than those, seek this one out right away.

Those are the four biggest horror movies to come out of France in the 2000s and they are all modern masterpieces. They all have their own tone, messages, and style, but one thing bonds them all together; gore. These are all insanely violent and each one of them was slapped with an NC-17 upon their initial submission to the MPAA. If you're not into reading subtitles, I beg of you to change your views for at least one of these movies because if you call yourself a horror fan these are a must see, hands down. While my personal favorite of the bunch is Martyrs, all of these would get my highest recommendation any day of the week. Adieux, horror fans!

Sleepaway Camp

The Sleepaway Camp film series is quite an odd one to say the least. Starting off with the beautiful train wreck that was Sleepaway Camp in 1983, the films got weirder and weirder, spawning three more sequels and a big cult following. I personally love all of the movies in the series, because they are odd, funny, scary, gory, and not just your average Friday the 13th knock off. I'm not going to rank these films, but I will list them all and give a review for each. Spoilers are pretty much unavoidable in this piece, so read at your own risk.

Sleepaway Camp (1983):
This movie is a very hard movie to review, because it is really quite bad. The reason it's hard to review though, is because I liked it way more than I should have. This movie was made in the slasher boom of the early 80's on a clearly very small budget. On paper it's just another run of the mill slasher, but it is so much more. With a truly strange story, generic yet memorable characters, some awesome kills, and an extremely shocking ending that is still remembered to this day, this film really is one of a kind. Felissa Rose is pretty solid as Angela, the shy protagonist we follow throughout the film who plays a very big role in the end. The acting, script, and pacing are generally awful, but these elements bring a strange charm to the flick that makes it highly enjoyable. The gore is pretty solid as well, and includes stabbings, boiling faces, curling irons inserted into, well, you get the point, and decapitation. But what really sells this movie is the ending. I won't spoil it, but it's one of the most bizarre, creepy, funny, and surprising endings I've ever seen. And it was very ballsy (bad, bad pun intended). A so bad it's great movie to kick off the series.

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988):
This sequel rocks, in more ways than one. Years after the events of the first film, a new camp called Camp Rolling Hills is up and running with the one and only Angela aka The Angel of Death working as a counselor. Instead of Felissa Rose returning as the infamous killer, Pamela Springsteen took over. She does an amazing job, bringing welcomed humor and spunk to the role. This movie is much more self aware and funny compared to the first, but that's why it works. It's often hilarious and scary at some points as well. The kills are amazing and top the original in every way. The only thing this one doesn't have going for it is a shock ending, but that's a minor complaint. The plot involving Angela "sending people home" after they've dome something bad (sex, drugs, or just being really mean or annoying) is very clever and funny. The acting and pacing are improved this time around and make this sequel more than worth while to watch. Oh, and when I say it rocks, it's not just because of the kills and solid acting, it's also for the soundtrack featuring the likes of Anvil and Hurricane. A totally 80's slasher with a kick ass heavy metal soundtrack, what more can you ask for?

Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland (1989):
A lot of people didn't like this one but I thought it was just as good as the two that came before it. After being fired as a counselor in the second movie, Angela (after an amazing opening scene) finds a way to become a camper at a camp called Camp New Horizons. She then does what she does best, taking care of business killing off bad kids sinning deep within the woods. The kills are highly inventive (like the flag pole kill), but never come quite close enough to be better than the ones in parts 1 and 2. Springsteen returns as Angela and like the second movie, she steals every scene she's in. The plot, again, is tight and flows very nicely combining horror and comedy effortlessly. I really enjoyed this movie, and I'm also really glad they didn't kill of Angela at the end. She's just too cool to die! Another great soundtrack is included, making the movie all the more awesome. All in all, a great entry in the series.

Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008):
Over 20 years after the first Sleepaway Camp was released, the original writer/director Robert Hiltzik returns at the helm of this sequel. Proposed as a direct sequel to the first movie, it completely ignores the events of 2 & 3, which would have pissed me off, but they made the great decision to bring back Felissa Rose as the infamous Angela. Unfortunately, that, and the kills are the only things this movie has going for it. The main character named Alan is one of the most unlikable and annoying characters I've ever come across in a horror movie. He's supposed to be the victim, but he is mean and kind of brings all of the bullying on himself. Also, the film is very slow in the middle. There are a couple really good kills at the beginning, and then A LOT of nothingness, and then a pretty good, blood soaked ending. Having said all that, the kills really are pretty sweet. One in particular involving a sharpened broomstick is spectacular. The effects are very well done and almost saved this movie for me. The ending is superb and the final shot brought back the creepy feeling of the original movie's ending. Oddly enough this is a lot like the original because, in the case of both films, if you can get past the awful acting, bad pacing, and horrid script, there are solid kills and an amazing ending. A fitting end(?) to this slasher series.

Sleepaway Camp 4: The Survivor (N/A):
I feel like I need to mention this one even though it's not, and never will be, a part of the series. This movie started filming in the early 90's and production was stopped, and never started back up again. The 30 some odd minutes of surviving production footage can be viewed most likely online, and is also available as a bonus disc in the Sleepaway Camp Survival Kit box set from Anchor Bay. I personally haven't watched it, as it is unfinished and no gore is included. But nonetheless, it's still an interesting part of the history of this series.

The Sleepaway Camp franchise is very enjoyable and highly underrated if you ask me. All of the films have something going for them and they are all, without a doubt, worth watching. I personally like the second and third film over the first and fourth only because I favor Springsteen's Angela to Rose's if only by a little. This is a great series and deserves a bigger following. An absolute mandatory view for any slasher fan. All four films come highly recommended from yours truly. And remember, Oh I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky! And with the grace of God, I'll camp until i die.

The Thing (2011)

When a prequel was announced for John Carpenter's 1982 seminal classic The Thing, I have to admit, I was pretty excited. I thought a prequel was a great idea (much, MUCH better than a remake), and fans would have an excuse to revisit The Thing universe. For the record, I'm also really into the whole prequel trend these days (Prometheus, *SPOILER* Final Destination 5, etc), and I was pumped to see what awesome creature designs, characters, and suspense this new film would bring.

When the prequel of the same name came out, it was met with generally negative reviews and disappointing box office numbers. To be fair, even the original got mixed reviews and was considered a flop back in '82. Just saying. Despite all of this I decided to go see it anyway. I sat there in awe and I left the theater very confused as to why people were hating on this flick. To say the least, I loved it. Here's why I think true fans of the original The Thing, or body horror movies in general should give it another chance.

Let's get the biggest complaint out of the way first; the use of CGI. I am one of the very few people that could forget that the original film had some of the best practical effects of the 80's, and just enjoy this one as a stand alone movie. I thought the CGI was really well used and gave us some amazing money shots of transformations, and incinerations as well. The filmmakers DID use practical effects, as seen in the "making of" on the DVD/Blu-Ray. After watching that, in fact, it was easier to spot the (quite a few) uses of practical effects. All of that aside, the creature designs were outstanding. They kept the feel of the original without copying anything (besides what's explained/ shown in the '82 film). The mutations are brutal and unexpected, as is the gore. To me, this film definitely lived up to the classic effects of the original.

Honestly, that was really the only big complaint about this entry, which is quite unfair, as it has a lot more going for it. Another great thing about this flick is the acting. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who is rapidly becoming one of my favorite actresses, holds her ground as the film's heroine. She gives off an almost Ellen Ripley vibe as she takes command, and she steals every scene she's in. The rest of the cast is great as well, with each character being memorable and unique. The group in this film felt real, as if they were hand picked from around the word and plopped together in this one location.

The paranoid feeling of the original film also makes an appearance in the prequel. The film delivers on the effects without sacrificing suspense, and mystery. I was constantly trying to figure out who was assimilated and how the thing would make its appearance. Nothing in this flick seemed recycled or predictable and that is a successful attempt at creating paranoia, not only for the characters but for the audience as well.

So, I urge you to give this movie another chance. It has amazing effects/creatures, an eerie feeling about it, and great acting as well. Fans will notice nods to the original like an homage to the "testing" scene, and various little things seen when they visit the doomed camp in the '82 version. The ending brilliantly ties everything up too, and it left me very satisfied. I really hope this movie gets a following like the original did, because it more than deserves it.

The Devil's Rejects

Rob Zombie is hit or miss with some, but I love all of his horror efforts. He shoots on film (always a plus) and his movies stand out and far away from the mainstream. He has a good ear for dialogue, and his direction is impeccable. There's one movie in his filmography that will always be considered his magnum opus; The Devil's Rejects.

This genre bending flick was unleashed into cinemas in 2005, as a loose sequel to his 2003 debut House of 1000 Corpses. This is Zombie's best reviewed movie, and it's clear why. The biggest reason, I think, is because you can't put a label on it. It's a drama, horror movie, western, crime thriller, and even a dark comedy, all rolled into one wild ride.

The story revolves around sherif Wydell who goes on a personal revenge mission to catch the remaining members of the Firefly family that fled their home after a police raid.

From the opening scene, in which sheriff Wydell raids the Firefly's home, you know instantly that you're in for something like you've never seen before. It's a brutal shootout and it's filmed in an almost documentary style. But the reason it's so good is because it's the last thing you'd expect from a horror movie. That's how this entire movie operates. It takes left turn after left turn, leaving you wondering where it will end up.

Another thing that worked superbly in this flick was the music. While House of 1000 Corpses used a more heavy metal "scary movie" score, this movie used classic country/hard rock songs. This creates a really uneasy feeling. It reminded me of how Tarantino used "Stuck in the Middle with You" for the infamous ear cutting scene in Reservoir Dogs. Pairing an otherwise upbeat song with sinister acts of violence is a great stylistic choice.

The gore/violence also is very well done. The film was shot on 16mm so its grainy as hell and really adds to the brutality of the violence. The gore is very realistic and in your face, but it never feels too exploitative, nor does the nudity. The CGI is surprisingly convincing, and enough practical stuff is thrown in to balance everything out.

The acting is superb as well. Zombie brings in genre favorites as well as some new faces. His twisted lines get delivered brilliantly. The acting is yet another thing that sets this movie above most horror films that come out these days.

The Devil's Rejects is my favorite horror film. It's good because it's not like any other scary movie out there. It's a good FILM, not limited to horror. It's a genre defining, one of a kind movie, that will be remembered for some time to come.

Decampitated

Troma Entertainment. This company, one of the longest running independent film companies, is known for releasing cheesy B-Movies and otherwise un-marketable flicks that no big studio would even think of putting out. This beloved company has gained a huge cult following over the years. and is seemingly unstoppable. Toxie is now just as recognizable as Jason Voorhees. This company releases more good than bad, and truly cares about the fans. Today, I'm going to talk about one of my favorite films in the Troma canon: Decampitated.

Released in 1998 by Troma, this cabin in the woods slasher comedy was directed by D. Matt Cunningham and starred Ryan Lowery, and Mike Hart, among others. The flick follows seven friends who's nice camping trip turns into a bloody, and hilarious fight for survival.

Let me start off by saying this film looks fantastic. Word around the campfire (pun intended) is that the same camera used to film the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was used for this movie. It's shot on 16mm and it gives the film real texture. It's grainy as hell and really adds to the more horror-y parts of the movie. I was really into the look of the movie.

The effects are also top notch considering the modest budget. The kill scenes are bloody and will satisfy any gore hound. The violence mostly played for laughs but that doesn't mean they aren't brutal. Throat slashing, decapitation, and fishing hooks in the ear make up this fairly gory flick.

The jokes hit more than they miss and they make the movie rise above most independent horror comedies. The characters are zany and the now trademark wacky Troma sound effects are as present as ever.The acting is solid and appropriately silly. Everyone looks like they had a good time while filming which is nice.If you haven't seen this flick, I highly suggest you check it out. It's funny, gory, and one of Troma's best!

Hostel Part 2

Eli Roth burst into the horror scene with his insanely enjoyable Cabin Fever in 2002. This indie gem centers around a group of college friends fighting off a flesh eating disease. It was classic horror; boobs, blood, and karate kids yelling for pancakes. It was a fun horror flick that got Roth major recognition from the likes of Peter Jackson and Quentin Tarantino, among others. He then had backing from Tarantino in making his second feature Hostel, which came out in 2005. This movie was about three friends backpacking in Europe. They soon come to find out that they are at the wrong end of a human trafficking murder ring. Hostel was a really well done sophomore film. The slow build up sets up the crazy gory final half perfectly. The film takes on a creepy look thanks to the brilliant cinematography and direction. Roth's second film proved that he had some real talent and wasn't just a one hit wonder. Then, two years later, Eli Roth came out with the sequel Hostel Part II. This movie was met with somewhat average reviews from critics and fans alike. But, in my opinion, this film is among one of the best horror films of the 2000s.

The first Hostel flick was great. It had good characters, solid acting, and insane gore. Having said that, I always thought Part 2 was way above the first installment on terms of direction and style. There are many elements that combined to make this a near perfect horror film and a damn good sequel.

First of all, the acting is superb. Lauren German does a great job as the main character Beth. She's down to earth, even with a strangely huge sum of money at her disposal. Bijou Phillips and Heather Matarazzo do their great in their respective parts as her two friends along for the trip. Roger Bart and Richard Burgi have great chemistry as long time friends who are about to dive into the dangerous world of the Elite Hunting club. The acting in this movie is far better than most horror films and really adds to the authenticity.

Now, about the direction. Eli Roth had always been one of my favorite directors. He passed on the quick cut strobe effect most movies, namely the Saw films, were using at the time. For Hostel Part 2, his shots are well thought out and he knew how to set up eerie visuals and good suspense. The scene when Stuart and Todd are getting ready for the torture is by far my favorite scene in the film. No dialogue, just a beautiful song along with the two buddies psyching themselves out for what's to come. Truly masterful. He knows how to show us the gore, too. It's not over stylized and it works to awesome effect. Roth's direction is great and it sets this film apart from the rest.

The gore is also quite amazing. KNB worked on this film and they did an outstanding job. To this day, the upside down torture scene is one of the most brutal, and surreal kills in recent memory. This film is less gory than the original, but when it hits, it hits hard. It's very unflinching and realistic. The ending with Beth chopping off Axelle's head puts a huge smile on my face. I'm glad this wasn't a gore fest all the way through, and I'm also glad that when the gore did happen, it was beautifully done.

Hostel Part 2 doesn't feel like a traditional horror film. There's no needless jump scares, no annoying characters, nothing a typical scary movie might have. And that's what puts it high above the rest. It's a well thought out film, that just happens to be centered around an underground torture club. It's very unnerving, and scary in ways you wouldn't expect. For example: The most disturbing scene in the movie is when all of the yuppies are bidding on the unsuspecting girls. No blood, just people gambling with other people's lives. It gets to you in ways other horror films don't. Hostel Part 2 is quite underrated and begs for another look. Happy hunting!